It's Good to be Back
by Galen Rhine
Summary: Takes place after S3 finale and a few months or year or more after Dean gets thrown in the pit. Dean comes back a demon instead of normal human. caution for mild but-its-there swearing. AU.
1. Chapter 1

Hello world. This is my first fanfic so please RRR, criticism and ideas are welcome since I have no clue what I'm doing. I'm just playing with the idea.

I'm in the middle of the 4th season, so expect huge plot differences. then again its labeled AU for a reason.

I apologize if I may sound OOC. It might be because I haven't watched the show recently so my "Sam-anese" or "Ruby-ish" is rusty or something

and grammar mistakes might be littered here. I'm not good at grammar. I'm just going to post the summary on the first chapter since its a short chapter and I like to read the summary myself at the top. I like reading multiple fanfics at once, so summaries are an easy way to keep track for me.

_Summary: Takes place after S3 finale and a few months or year or more after Dean gets thrown in the pit. Dean comes back a demon instead of normal human. caution for mild but-its-there swearing. AU._

**Disclaimer: If I owned SPN, Cas would get more screen time, and the first Ruby would of stayed as Ruby.  
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><p>"I'm sorry, could you say that again?" Ruby said, irritated and disbelieving, "I don't think I heard you right."<p>

"Ruby, you know what I said, and could you give me a second , I've got a hangover and—"

"I can't believe this" Ruby snorted, completely ignoring his request. "That's just FAN-tastic,"

"Calm down Ruby," Sam said as he winced and massaged his temples.

She whirled on him. "CALM DOWN? Are you CRAZY? We just lost the KNIFE. We might as well dance around naked on the streets with neon lights flashing 'KILL ME', and you expect me to be CALM?"

"I suppose not," Sam sighed as he stood and dusted his pants off. "But…" he hesitated, "I think I just found Dean."

Ruby froze. _SHIT_, she thought, _not THIS again._

After countless suicidal adventures for "maybe-it-could-work" s and "definitely-not-but-it's-not-like-Sam-gives-a-fuck", Sam spiraled down his own little path of hell. Didn't help much that he also had the on and off delusions of Dean sitting on the bench, or Dean sitting in the car, or Dean telling him to "come join him", like the Crocotta. She couldn't let him carry the shotgun anymore. Even if it only has salt. Pathetic.

And now, after several months of persuading him and questioning why she even saved the sorry ass called Sam Winchester in the first place, here they are, back to square one. AGAIN. If she got lucky, maybe she can skip the whole angst and he'll be drunk for eleven of the waking hours instead of twelve. Ruby let out a deep breath of deep frustration and counted to ten.

"Sam," Ruby said slowly, "is he wearing those banana slippers, or that pin—, I'm sorry, _fuchsia_ tie again? Because if he is, I think we went over that there is no way, even in hell, that Dean would ever wear—"

"Look," Sam said, shaking his head, "First of all, he's the one who said it was fuchsia. I thought it was pink too. Second, I said THINK, not 'I _saw_' him. It obviously means that it's really him because I didn't see him this time."

Drunk. Of course. "Riiight, and HOW many tequila shots have you had today?"

"Ruby, it's a lead. We should follow it, as unlikely as it is."

"WHAT lead? The fact that you didn't actually see him is any more convincing?"

"What if I stop drinking if you help?"

_Hmmm, bipolar self-destructive drunk or a pointless homicidal road trip?_

"So what's this so-called 'lead'?"

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><p>Thanks for reading guys :)<p> 


	2. Chapter 2 Morning Challenge

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**  
>Hello all<p>

After TWO years of posting the first chapter, I felt bad for just leaving it hanging. I actually liked the first chapter, but didn't know what to do with it...it just kind of...sat there. Also the fact that 2 years later someone liked/followed/something that warranted an email from the FF community popped up did not alleviate my guilt.  
>So I finally set some time where I actually sat down and wrote this. Hooray! Also a plus, I sort of know where I am going with the story. Sort of. I know how everything is going to mesh together. sort of. Yeah, real confidence booster there.<p>

Also, side note, I caught up on SPN. And I still maintain that spunky long straight-haired blond Ruby was the best. Anyways, it's good material to follow through. Also, I am internally conflicted with the fact that the ending of season 5 would of been the best ending ever (if they made it THE ending, but we know how that goes), but there is some really good material in the later part of the series. I guess the point is that I'm worried how this season will end (because all things must come to an end :( -yeah, sticking some words in here so that the frowny face doesn't look weird when i put the end parenthesis).

another side note, I tend to have different moods when I write. So the spirit of the first chapter may not be in tandem with the second chapter or something...but then again, im planning on alternating pov. But still, that night when I wrote the first chapter, I was really snarky and enjoyed it. This...I don't know, I don't FEEL as snarky. Anyways, I hope it's good...

But anywho, chapter 3 is on the way. This time it's sitting there but IT ACTUALLY EXISTS (unlike chapter 2 did during the posting of chapter 1) so hopefully this will not be completely dropped

I hope you guys don't mind if I don't capitalize the I's and put the apostrophes in don't, didn't, won't, ya'll, etc. I hate doing those, but I really like capitalizing the beginning of the sentence though...yeah not making sense

Also, I never watched season 2. Except for the first two and last two.

I'm a little peeved that Wreck-it-Ralph didnt win the Oscars.

please excuse my ramblings.  
>Moving on, let the bromance continue!<p>

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><p>Sam Winchester opened his eyes. Bad idea. His head hurt like hell and sunlight burned his sockets. He shut his eyes quickly and groaned. Life just doesn't look so cheery with hangovers in the morning. Well he knew how to fix that…<p>

Sam reached over and on the other side of the bed, rummaging around the shirts, the pants inside the duffel bag to find…empty space. He patted it once, then twice, then sighed and flopped back onto the cheap motel bed. He hated it when the bottle rolled to the side. Dammit, at this rate, he was going to have to actually wake u—

"Looking for something?"

Ruby's voice cut through the hangover, sounding too sweet and giddy. Sam winced. Ruby didn't do happy unless someone else was suffering. He felt sorry for the whichever guy she decided to torture this particular morning.

Ruby's fingers began to drum expectantly on the armrest. Sam tried to ignore it by burying his head deep into the pillow. Getting up is not worth it, even with the annoying clack of her nails on wood. Maybe she'll just go away and he could just lie there on the sagging bed, sleep off the hangover, ignore the sun, not deal with Ruby for a couple of hours, not dream about Dean and his fuschia-

She cleared her throat.

"Uh...Morning to you too Ruby...?" Sam mumbled in reply, trying to appease her and go back to concentrating on dozing off. Sometimes she was a stickler for etiquette.

A sigh of frustration rolled out from her mouth. He could hear her eyes roll too. "Sam Winchester, it is _very_ rude to ignore a lady's question."

Oh. The question wasn't rhetorical.

"I'm, uh, sorry...?"

"No matter, " she said smoothly, and her eyes lit up. Sam knew he was in trouble. Her victim of the day was probably him. "You were looking for a brown 40 ounce glass bottle that contains some liquid created by using starch hydrolysis and fermenting the resulting sugar? Or maybe a silver hip flask that contains a distilled beverage made up of ethanol and water? Am I correct?"

"Huh?" He answered intelligently. He wasn't very good at processing things in the morning.

She sighed."Your booze you idiot. What do they teach kids at Stanford these days?"

Sam's sat up, startled and wide awake. He took in the surroundings, the sunlight streaming through the windows, the hideous, peeling, seafoam green wall paper, run down furniture from the 80's, Ruby, sitting on a red velvet chair, radiating contempt and wearing a sneer, and around her, were 30 bottles, _his _bottles, standing on the floor. Sam was starting to get nervous. He didn't like how close her shoe was to his Jack Daniels. Or the way she was looking at his moonshine.

Sam stared at her for a minute taking in the situation, then sat up very slowly. A hostage crisis always requires delicacy.

"Ruby..." He said cautiously, "what are you doing?"

A wider smirk. This wasn't looking good. "Oh, you know, spending some quality time with some quality liquor." She lifted one up by the neck, and shook it around a little. The light caught in the bottle and reflected into his eyes. Sam recoiled. "This is some _wonderful _moonshine. You know, personally, I'm not a big fan myself, but _this_..." She lifted it in a mock cheer. "Did you make this yourself?" Her eyes sparkled with the bottle.

"Yes? I mean, wai-Ruby, wha- how-ugh," A pain shot through his head, and he rubbed his temples. Damn hangover. He settled for the simplest and most direct approach."Give it back."

She pouted, but her eyes flashed. "Oh the noble Sam Winchester," she crooned, "Don't tell me you forgot...last night? The deal...?"

Sam's brain kicked it into high gear. His precious stash was in danger, and he had no idea how else he was going to cope with Dean in hell and being tortured to death, no pun intended, (because of him), his girlfriend bursting to flames (because of him), his mother bursting into flames (because of him), his dad being dead (because of making a deal with a shifty and questionable yellow eyed demon, who probably was willing to make a deal because of him), and life just sucking in general (probably because of him too. Deciding to be a hunter is actually a really stupid decision). Sam gathered his thoughts and started to form coherent sentences.

"Last...night?"He started to remember the five-some bars he went to, the pool table and the country blues playing over the speakers, the rain, throwing up, the flash of fuchsia... Oh.

"Ruby, I was drunk and desperate. You know how it goes-" he started.

She gave him a look. She didn't. _Right. Demon healing powers took care of that_. He tried a different tactic.

"Okay, first of all, you are not a crossroad demon and have no power to sanction a deal. Second, I haven't signed a valid and binding contract. And third, technically speaking, it wasn't a deal. It was a promise. Besides, do you expect me to keep promises with _demons_? It's not like demons keep their promises either."

Her face darkened, and Sam pressed his advantage. He raised his hands in mock surprise and hurt. "I'm personally offended. You think that I can't break a promise? I'm a hunter and you're a demon. Of course we're going to have a little backstabbing going on."

He winced at his stupid choice of words. Hopefully there _wouldn't_ be any 'little backstabbing going on', but that was beside the point.

Ruby glanced away, breaking eye contact first-a sign of weakness. She looked pissed and ready to begin sulking. Sam let out a deep breath of relief. It was just Ruby being Ruby, which means being obnoxious in the morning, as per usual; nothing too serious. He could handle this, fix himself a cup of ice, have his daily routine of a morning whiskey on the rocks, and go back to swindling people in the evening. Hey, everyone's gotta eat.

And then she popped off the top of the bottle.

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><p>RRR please!<p> 


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